February 20, 2015

Not very liberal when it comes to underwear

Hey Team,

Shopko in Bountiful is closing next week. So I ventured down yesterday in search of the glorious red stickers we all know and love. Despite the fact that you may never use or need the item, if that red sticker is anywhere on the item, your brain just says, this is a justified purchase. Granted, I feel like I bought things that I actually need, and a few that I probably don't. But yolo, am I right?

So I ventured into the underwear section. A while back I made the monumental mistake of buying the nice microfiber undies, but they were BRIEFS. Oh the poignant regret I felt when I got home, and they nearly reached my under wire. I was so careful not to make that mistake again. But not to fear, it came in another form. Searching through the lace and thongs, I found some pretty conservative pieces. I can't really take myself seriously if I'm wearing some spandex booty short things to work that are covered in high heels, even if NO ONE will ever see them. I know, and that's enough for me to say no, thank you.

But upon returning home with my goodies, including new sheets for under $20 dollars, I discovered one pair had a hilarious but disturbing message on the back. Wild Rebel Forever. I can't think of something possibly worse than this, but I'm sure it exists. So there you have it. When it comes to undies, I'm essentially ninety-five years old, and I can't purchase ones with racy messages. But I did, and gross but true, I am wearing them as you read this. Please have a laugh at my expense.

Here's to the undiscovered rebel within,


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