So I have a confession to make. I think going to gym has made me more rude. Since my consistent visits to the gym in October, I've started noticing changes in my own body which are great motivators. The problem is I'm also making internal judgments about others inside and outside of the gym. Before I became a gym rat, I had the attitude of do whatever you want, it's your body and life. So why has the gym changed me? Am I watching too much Biggest Loser? Plus, why does going to the gym give me permission to judge others?
I think it's one part noticing body shapes and sizes, and one part living in a world of impossible standards. First, the world wants to you skinny, but not too skinny because then you may have an eating disorder. Then they encourage you to be curvy, but not so curvy that it's distracting, or too far out of the norm and box they've created for us. This is true for many women, but not excluding men. Men also have impossible standards to meet as well, and it's frustrating for both sexes.
I'm trying to be better about setting attainable fitness goals for myself. I'm not here saying I've lost huge amounts of weight, or that's the only goal I have. That's not the entire picture of fitness. We've just been led to believe that the number on the scale is the only thing worth reaching, and being thin equals being healthy. Also, if I miss a visit to the gym, or maybe 10 visits, that doesn't mean I'm a failure, it will just be tougher getting out of bed the next time. To clarify, I wasn't a morning person starting out. I had to honestly push myself so much to go workout in the morning, and I still do everyday. It never gets easier to get there. Luckily I've started going to bed earlier, and my internal clock had figured out the switch. Doesn't mean I don't love sleeping in anymore though!
My favorite part of going to the gym is honestly having energy to get through my long days of work and school, and sleeping really well at night (depending on if Ezma the dog is sharing my bed.) The weight loss and feeling stronger is just a bonus for me. The best thing I continually tell myself is that this is a process. A life-long journey of better health, and taking care of myself. Carbs will never taste bad to me, and I know that I'm always going to love them. Luckily the gym hasn't changed me in that regard.
So another goal to add to my resolutions for 2014, is to be kinder to myself and to others. Pant size shouldn't define anyone, not even me. There should be a message included in every full body and bathroom mirror, "Objects are skewed by impossible double standards the media has set for us." Like Jennifer Lawrence said, "Screw those people."
|P.S. I don't do Yoga, and if I do, I fall and my butt, and laugh all the way out of the class.|